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What has happened ?
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Ellie
Debate
Hi Gerry,
Nice to read your point of view and of course we're not all going to agree--be pretty dull if we did wouldnt it?
I may sound a bit of a "soft touch" regarding kids but actually I was the one who disciplined my kids-- I never hit them--when they were toddlers I would pat their hand if they--say touched anything dangerous IE electric socket/oven but as they grew I found that my "raised voice" was usually enough
But I do understand what youre saying and some of the awful "crimes" committed in our society require appropriate punishment.But i stand by my conviction that hitting/beating a kid wont solve things-my mother used to sayyou beat one devil out and two in and no, neither myself,sister& brother were ever hit by our loving caring ma& pa.
I would always--always try talk and persuasion but of course thats me and many others will disagree.Im well aware of that.
I havent noticed any other womans views on this and Id love to read them.
Am I right in deducing that most men here have gone in favour of a clout or kick in the tender parts
Dont forget --this topic is about litter/graffiti--it isnt life-threatening.
wish you nice evening, Ellie
Im in the way of thinking that --violence begets violence.
Nice to read your point of view and of course we're not all going to agree--be pretty dull if we did wouldnt it?
I may sound a bit of a "soft touch" regarding kids but actually I was the one who disciplined my kids-- I never hit them--when they were toddlers I would pat their hand if they--say touched anything dangerous IE electric socket/oven but as they grew I found that my "raised voice" was usually enough
But I do understand what youre saying and some of the awful "crimes" committed in our society require appropriate punishment.But i stand by my conviction that hitting/beating a kid wont solve things-my mother used to sayyou beat one devil out and two in
and no, neither myself,sister& brother were ever hit by our loving caring ma& pa.I would always--always try talk and persuasion but of course thats me and many others will disagree.Im well aware of that.
I havent noticed any other womans views on this and Id love to read them.
Am I right in deducing that most men here have gone in favour of a clout or kick in the tender parts
Dont forget --this topic is about litter/graffiti--it isnt life-threatening.
wish you nice evening, Ellie
Im in the way of thinking that --violence begets violence.
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Guest - Sharon
Re: Social Worker comments and why I laughed. It was just the final paragraph was so not what I expected to read. I am foremost a mother of a 7 year old son who knows right from wrong without a smack round the ear. I am proud of my child's behaviour and, if needed, a quick word of dissapproval usually does the trick. I am sickened that anyone thought I laughed out loud that a "kick in the bollocks" would teach a child a lesson. 
I never set out to start a debate about the rights and wrongs of bringing your children up, but that I left CVO feeling slightly disappointed at what I'd seen this time round.
I get the sense of "lazy authorities" who don't quite know what they've got until it's destroyed. I never expect to sit on a dirty beach in CVO and my heart was saddened to see some of the new building going on. The new shops on the one way into town are completely out of character, apartments going up in Marinha...ground being cleared in Benagil. I know more and more people are wanting to buy a piece of CVO but what about all those beautiful run down buildings around the square and beyond?
There you've started me off...it's Saturday nught, I've had a glass or three of red vino and I can't shut up. My heart is CVO but we're having "a break".
I never set out to start a debate about the rights and wrongs of bringing your children up, but that I left CVO feeling slightly disappointed at what I'd seen this time round.
I get the sense of "lazy authorities" who don't quite know what they've got until it's destroyed. I never expect to sit on a dirty beach in CVO and my heart was saddened to see some of the new building going on. The new shops on the one way into town are completely out of character, apartments going up in Marinha...ground being cleared in Benagil. I know more and more people are wanting to buy a piece of CVO but what about all those beautiful run down buildings around the square and beyond?
There you've started me off...it's Saturday nught, I've had a glass or three of red vino and I can't shut up. My heart is CVO but we're having "a break".
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Ellie
good to hear!
Sharon --that was good to read--and Im in total agreement with you --what you say and what i would call "unnecessary" building-ive always felt very strongly about this--
We lived in Lagoa for some time and when I go there I see new business/banks etc -but--nothing seems to be spent onrestoring--what I would call--strong beautiful traditiona houses!and as you pointed out--those also aroundCVOs praia area.Ludicrous isnt?
You mentioned Benagil too but its happening all over--great swathes of countryside being gouged out to build evermore villas!
You obviously have a lot of feeling for CVO/Algarve and I sincere hope that your fears are unfounded--that it wont be desecrated and that you will return some time to enjoy future holidays there with your little lad.
lord--look at the time--its the "guiness" kept me awake! Hope you enjoyed your glasses of red Nite, Ellie.
We lived in Lagoa for some time and when I go there I see new business/banks etc -but--nothing seems to be spent onrestoring--what I would call--strong beautiful traditiona houses!and as you pointed out--those also aroundCVOs praia area.Ludicrous isnt?
You mentioned Benagil too but its happening all over--great swathes of countryside being gouged out to build evermore villas!
You obviously have a lot of feeling for CVO/Algarve and I sincere hope that your fears are unfounded--that it wont be desecrated and that you will return some time to enjoy future holidays there with your little lad.
lord--look at the time--its the "guiness" kept me awake! Hope you enjoyed your glasses of red
Nite, Ellie.
Sharon has pointed out that she didn’t aim to start a debate about bringing up children, and I agree we should be talking about the “lazy authorities” instead.
But now I’ve been drawn in I’ve got to say that when I was a child I never got a kick in the bollocks or even a smack round the ear (from any adults anyway). When naughty my mother would say “wait till your father gets home”, and when he got home if he thought I deserved a smacked bottom I would get it. At school the teacher would say, “go and stand outside the headmasters study”, I might stand there for an hour before seeing him and I could get away with a good bollocking or between one and six of the best. That was middle England 1950s. Maybe, in 21st century, if parents think twice before punishing (smacking) their child, the child might think twice before doing wrong. And then when they are grown up they may or may not get “a good boot in the bollocks”.
But now I’ve been drawn in I’ve got to say that when I was a child I never got a kick in the bollocks or even a smack round the ear (from any adults anyway). When naughty my mother would say “wait till your father gets home”, and when he got home if he thought I deserved a smacked bottom I would get it. At school the teacher would say, “go and stand outside the headmasters study”, I might stand there for an hour before seeing him and I could get away with a good bollocking or between one and six of the best. That was middle England 1950s. Maybe, in 21st century, if parents think twice before punishing (smacking) their child, the child might think twice before doing wrong. And then when they are grown up they may or may not get “a good boot in the bollocks”.
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Guest
I have a 11 yr old daughter and i have never smacked her and i never will, i find that a certain look or a raised voice is enough. I cant get my head round hitting or beating someone you love and is so precious to you and im afraid i wont be convinced that it is the best thing for the child (cruel to be kind?) I'm sure that many may disagree with me but it has worked for my child and it has also worked for my sisters children (she has 4 between the ages of 15-22). I think children and adults should be made aware of how their actions affect other people, for instance if you catch a child putting graffitti on a wall make them clean it off, im sure they would think twice about doing it again and make the parents accountable for the childs actions make them pay to have it repainted(hit them where it hurts ,not in the bollox but in the pocket) Im sure that would stop alot of the vandalism.
Loretta
Loretta
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Ellie
agreement
Heartily endorse Lorettas words---I think parents should shoulder the responsibility if kids do damage---of course youcant be with your kids 24 hours a day but you should be aware of where they are what company they keep etc and have house rules.Like all young animals(and we are part of animal kingdom) children need need some rules to live by but most of all coupled with love
My mother was widowed young ---my brother and I just 6 and 8 yrs and teenage sister---but she never raised a hand to us--like you and I Loretta--the"voice" was enough! Same at school--as Digger says--a stern voice from teacher and the humiliation of being made to stand outside class(Im a child of the 50s/60s) was enough
In my mid twenties I worked in a school for "problem" children-age from 10 to 16yr olds--it wasnt the kids that were the problem-but the homes/parents they came from. They witnessed terrible scenes of violence-mother being regularly beaten--werent fed properly or washed--we actually had to bath some of them they were so dirty and provide a change of clothes.
Seeing such violence made some of them the same---in fact i was attacked twice--once by 3 teenage lads who hurt me, twisting my arms badly taking keys from me--and having a football savagely kicked into back of my neck. Okay it shook me badly ---but i knew why they did it --theyd been made to hate andthat was their way of letting it out.
In the end I had to give up the job--I was "too young" to handle it and had started my own family.
This why I feel so strongly about using physical force against children.
Have discipline but give them plenty of love too and this they will pass back to you and also on to their own children.
My mother was widowed young ---my brother and I just 6 and 8 yrs and teenage sister---but she never raised a hand to us--like you and I Loretta--the"voice" was enough! Same at school--as Digger says--a stern voice from teacher and the humiliation of being made to stand outside class(Im a child of the 50s/60s) was enough
In my mid twenties I worked in a school for "problem" children-age from 10 to 16yr olds--it wasnt the kids that were the problem-but the homes/parents they came from. They witnessed terrible scenes of violence-mother being regularly beaten--werent fed properly or washed--we actually had to bath some of them they were so dirty and provide a change of clothes.
Seeing such violence made some of them the same---in fact i was attacked twice--once by 3 teenage lads who hurt me, twisting my arms badly taking keys from me--and having a football savagely kicked into back of my neck. Okay it shook me badly ---but i knew why they did it --theyd been made to hate andthat was their way of letting it out.
In the end I had to give up the job--I was "too young" to handle it and had started my own family.
This why I feel so strongly about using physical force against children.
Have discipline but give them plenty of love too and this they will pass back to you and also on to their own children.
