Analogy

susandawn · Post by **susandawn** » Tue Jul 08, 2003 10:38 pm

Hi folks

Sorry this topic has nothing to do with CVO.

Late afternoon, a long and stressful day, I had cause to mention that a particular member of staff couldn't organise a '.... up in a brewery'. A male colleague immediately told me I could no longer use this analogy. A 'lads' magazine (no name) recently tried to organise such an event. The brewery had set aside a small area and under strict supervision of upper management VIP's were allowed to sample small amounts of the alcoholic beverage. The remainder of the brewery with its highly technical brewing equipment was subject to a long list of health and safety regulations, the most important being that no drinking of alcohol is allowed on the premises. This renders the tried and tested analogy quite useless. Any sugestions for a new one.........

Susan

ROD · Post by **ROD** » Tue Jul 08, 2003 11:04 pm

What about

A shag in a whorehouse

susandawn · Post by **susandawn** » Tue Jul 08, 2003 11:09 pm

Not bad Rod, OK for social occassions, but not quite right for the office.

Any more ideas?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jul 08, 2003 11:22 pm

trolley dash in a supermarket????

maddi · Post by **maddi** » Tue Jul 08, 2003 11:27 pm

"Trolley dash" has its' advantages, can be used in the workplace and in front of small children which actually places one better than the original analogy, but I think there are better ones out there, so we should keep them coming and one will emerge divine!

Maddi

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 1:54 am

Couldn't organize a desk blotter with a compass & sliderule.

Couldn't organize a school of fish.

Couldn't organize a tuba in a brass section.

Couldn't organize an escalator race.

Couldn't organize a card game in a poker den.

Couldn't organize a lamp in a livingroom.

Couldn't drive across the street without a map.

Couldn't organize a raindance in a thunderstorm.

Couldn't organize a door in a doorway.

Couldn't organize a empty suitcase

Couldn't find a reflection in a hall of mirrors.

Couldn't find a bookie at a racetrack.

Couldn't organize a funeral if he died trying

cowboy · Post by **cowboy** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 2:00 am

that last post was from cowboy...forgot to sign in.

pammie · Post by **pammie** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 9:26 am

Hi Cowboy,

Surely yu havent been accused of all those things in your lifetime???

Hope there's no trouble on the Jokes section again 2day but think Mads will head the proceedings if it does get 'tense'

At least it's taken her mind off helmets

maddi · Post by **maddi** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 3:28 pm

Purleeeease everyone "helmets" are soooooo

1) last week

and . . .

2) never were funny enough to take over every topic heading

Maddi

maddi · Post by **maddi** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 3:38 pm

You could always use a different type of saying altogether rather than trying to find a different analogy like:-

as much use as. . . . . a chocolate teapot
a nun at an orgy

there are hundreds

cowboy · Post by **cowboy** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 6:44 pm

hi pammie....accused, yes...convicted, no

Gambrinus · Post by **Gambrinus** » Thu Jul 10, 2003 3:26 pm

As inconspicuous as a giraffe in dark glasses trying to get into a "Polarbears Only" golf club.

mike_h · Post by **mike_h** » Tue Jul 22, 2003 9:24 pm

Or

Couldn't organise a jig on Jordan's jubblies?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jul 23, 2003 8:46 am

Couldnt detect a gas leak with a match.