|Home| Info| Community| Business| Beaches| What to do?| Rentals| News| Forum| Blogs| Finance| History| FAQ| Contact|
Chat Up !
-
Gerry Cullen
- CVO Master
- Posts: 774
- Joined: Thu Jan 16, 2003 12:39 am
- Location: Southern Ireland
-
Gerry Cullen
- CVO Master
- Posts: 774
- Joined: Thu Jan 16, 2003 12:39 am
- Location: Southern Ireland
Good to hear that Tabbi........
So, the cowboy goes out to seek his fortune on the frontier of the old West.
He finally settles on a ranching town near the very edge of civilization. So near, in fact, that there aren't any women to be found for love nor money.
Well, he's young and full of hormones, and after a month, he starts getting randy, so he goes to the saloon to ask around. After a couple of sort of nervous, whispered conversations, it comes out that you use the sheep.
Well, our hero isn't real happy about this, but he's really desperate.
He buys a bottle to nerve himself up. He goes and finds the nearest flock, and decides that if he's going to do this at all, he's going to do it right.
He spends most of the afternoon picking out the prettiest sheep in the flock. He shampoos her wool and ties ribbons around her neck. Puts a little bell on her collar. He's also getting pretty drunk.
By evening, he's done cleaning up the sheep, and not thinking real clearly. He's so proud of the way the sheep looks, he decides to take her in to town and show her off at the saloon.
He walks in with the sheep, and the room goes quiet. Everybody's staring at the guy. And not just staring, but kinda recoiling in shock and horror. He's ashamed, but he's drunk enough; he slurs out, "Whassamada, I thought ever'body went out to the sheep?"
Finally, one old timer pipes up. "Yeah, boy, but you got the sherrif's girl."
So, the cowboy goes out to seek his fortune on the frontier of the old West.
He finally settles on a ranching town near the very edge of civilization. So near, in fact, that there aren't any women to be found for love nor money.
Well, he's young and full of hormones, and after a month, he starts getting randy, so he goes to the saloon to ask around. After a couple of sort of nervous, whispered conversations, it comes out that you use the sheep.
Well, our hero isn't real happy about this, but he's really desperate.
He buys a bottle to nerve himself up. He goes and finds the nearest flock, and decides that if he's going to do this at all, he's going to do it right.
He spends most of the afternoon picking out the prettiest sheep in the flock. He shampoos her wool and ties ribbons around her neck. Puts a little bell on her collar. He's also getting pretty drunk.
By evening, he's done cleaning up the sheep, and not thinking real clearly. He's so proud of the way the sheep looks, he decides to take her in to town and show her off at the saloon.
He walks in with the sheep, and the room goes quiet. Everybody's staring at the guy. And not just staring, but kinda recoiling in shock and horror. He's ashamed, but he's drunk enough; he slurs out, "Whassamada, I thought ever'body went out to the sheep?"
Finally, one old timer pipes up. "Yeah, boy, but you got the sherrif's girl."
-
Gerry Cullen
- CVO Master
- Posts: 774
- Joined: Thu Jan 16, 2003 12:39 am
- Location: Southern Ireland
Sorry ellie, green tea?..so like what do you do with it ....sprinkle it on the bedroom floor ..strip naked and annoint yourself with body oils then writhe and roll around on it humming the sound track to the silvercreen add while the taillight of the moon dances erotically across your blonde tresses .down your full breasted senseous torso ,across your shapley thighs and comley ankles all the while your translucent alabaster skin picks up the shimmering green tea leaves turning your elegent porcalin skin to an alluring shade of green so erotically arousing that the mearest glimpse of you would lure the very soul of evil from its lair in hades......or what?
Gambrinus i cant belive that post about the guy on the beach..the whole beach was probably watching him thinking ah god love him all on his own and that he could be my son with his red hair and little piggyeyes scrunched up against the glare of the sun,the same sun that is starting to turn his fat self a painfull shade of pink and still with an ache in our heart for this poor lonely young man we watch as he shambles across to the ice cream vendor buyiny two cornettos as we think to comfort himself,but then we realise it isn,t so and we become aware of his true intentions our hearts soar yes soar and with every fibre of our being we cheer him on his quest the coronetto becoming an olympic becon and with his courage and his icream in his hands he attempts the hardest task a young man can face alone without a friend in the world...to speak ..perchance to chat to a young girl in company..and then to experience the crushing blow of defeat the heartbreak of rejection our depression knows no bounds as we try not to witness his humilation stumblig back to his towel on the beach a small spot on the sand forming a small peice of personal purgotory for him alone he sits until from under an umbrella comes a little aul wan marching across the sand like an avenging angel and in her hand thrust out in front of her like the the sword of justice ..a crumpled tissue..in a thrice she has reached the lad the next second is a blur not unlike the last scene from reservoir dogs in aflash she spits on the tissue wipes his mouth takes the cones from his hands allowing him to go to the waters edge and wash of the remains of the dripping icecream while declaring in a loud voice"don,t mind that little hussy,you can do far better for yourself then that little tramp" once more calm and joy abound on the sand our sense of fair play restored ...but far away in some recess of the mind we can just hear the evil spitefull chuckle of the german moderator.
And before ye ask ..yes it is lashing rain over here and yes i am bored out of my mind.
Gambrinus i cant belive that post about the guy on the beach..the whole beach was probably watching him thinking ah god love him all on his own and that he could be my son with his red hair and little piggyeyes scrunched up against the glare of the sun,the same sun that is starting to turn his fat self a painfull shade of pink and still with an ache in our heart for this poor lonely young man we watch as he shambles across to the ice cream vendor buyiny two cornettos as we think to comfort himself,but then we realise it isn,t so and we become aware of his true intentions our hearts soar yes soar and with every fibre of our being we cheer him on his quest the coronetto becoming an olympic becon and with his courage and his icream in his hands he attempts the hardest task a young man can face alone without a friend in the world...to speak ..perchance to chat to a young girl in company..and then to experience the crushing blow of defeat the heartbreak of rejection our depression knows no bounds as we try not to witness his humilation stumblig back to his towel on the beach a small spot on the sand forming a small peice of personal purgotory for him alone he sits until from under an umbrella comes a little aul wan marching across the sand like an avenging angel and in her hand thrust out in front of her like the the sword of justice ..a crumpled tissue..in a thrice she has reached the lad the next second is a blur not unlike the last scene from reservoir dogs in aflash she spits on the tissue wipes his mouth takes the cones from his hands allowing him to go to the waters edge and wash of the remains of the dripping icecream while declaring in a loud voice"don,t mind that little hussy,you can do far better for yourself then that little tramp" once more calm and joy abound on the sand our sense of fair play restored ...but far away in some recess of the mind we can just hear the evil spitefull chuckle of the german moderator.
And before ye ask ..yes it is lashing rain over here and yes i am bored out of my mind.
A lesson learned, Gerry....never buy a girl anything unless you are sure she is good for it. 
How may girls go into a bar at night and let guys buy them drinks only to turn around and walk away with the drink? The poor bloke choked up the money for at least a 5 minute conversation and is left standing there twiddling......his thumbs.
You may think its my heritage that makes me naturally cynical, but I assure you, that's what 10 years at the Algarve International School will do to you
How may girls go into a bar at night and let guys buy them drinks only to turn around and walk away with the drink? The poor bloke choked up the money for at least a 5 minute conversation and is left standing there twiddling......his thumbs.
You may think its my heritage that makes me naturally cynical, but I assure you, that's what 10 years at the Algarve International School will do to you
-
Guest
The cheesiest chat up line ive had was " i hope you never hit tht sweet little head of yours when you fell down from heaven!"
I havent actually had to use any chat up lines all i have to do is try catch the guys eye (which isnt normally hard when guys cant keep ther eyes of any girl with a pulse!) then give them a wee wink and smile: they always come running!
I havent actually had to use any chat up lines all i have to do is try catch the guys eye (which isnt normally hard when guys cant keep ther eyes of any girl with a pulse!) then give them a wee wink and smile: they always come running!