Chat Up !

Tabitha · Post by **Tabitha** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 11:11 am

You mean I have to 'dress the part' Cowboy?
Is that your preference ( a blonde in an off the shoulder little black number?) or the warden's?

and should I take a 'softener along (for my lingerie of course) wih my detergent do you think?
Inever thought Id get excited about meeting someone in a launderette(laundrymat)-----Wonder what his chat up line will be

cowboy · Post by **cowboy** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 5:22 pm

"Your dryer or mine?"

Gerry Cullen · Post by **Gerry Cullen** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 6:41 pm

Tabby..love the sonnet ...must sound great after 15 pints of stout and then trying to explain its about willie ..can,t see it meself..laundry..watching your baggy grey y fronts spinning round for 15 mins and then asking the bird beside ye for a little softener..or worse again having to drag a little softener around with you ..jaysus yed be arrested..and digger..sheep? bleedin,sheep? jaysus i give up ...mind you i suppose if you didn,t have to keep runnin around the front to kiss them it wouldn,t be so.....no don,t go there..at least we irish are offering a bit of permanency yea know somethin with a bit of depth...i ve a mate reckons graveyards..yea thats what ithought too ..but it turned out she had a thing for hearse drivers and ye get some great chat up lines on gravestones........well at least shes not shaggin sheep...yet

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 8:07 pm

Great stuff as usual Gerry.
Friend of ours is an undertaker and he did have his eye on me a few years back:shock: but couldn't see any future in it! What do you say - nice day at work dear?

Wash your hands before dinner, touching anything!
The only upside I could see is that he had a job for life and the hearse can be parked on double yellow lines outside Blockbuster without fear of parking ticket

Pammie

Tabitha · Post by **Tabitha** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 8:41 pm

Gerry I wouldnt be able to 'explain' a Willie after 15 PINTSof anything--Id be legless half way

Pammie,can just visualise you leaping from that hearse while you pop in to get a copy of 'Graveyard Shift':twisted:
Would you mind my smalls being dried with yours Cowboy,if I ask nicely?

cowboy · Post by **cowboy** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 12:22 am

Would you mind my smalls being dried with yours Cowboy,if I ask nicely?

Sounds intresting, but Cowboys don't have "smalls"

Gambrinus · Post by **Gambrinus** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 7:23 am

Anonymous wrote: Friend of ours is an undertaker and he did have his eye on me a few years back but couldn't see any future in it!

You know what they say - it's a growing industry, the baby-boomer years are yet to come

Poetry is good when you already have a date going but as a first line I have to agree with Gerry - you'd be lucky to get through the first two lines before she barfs and/or falls off her barstool.

another sure-fire one-liner...."those clothes would look great on my bedroom floor!"
or in good old hot shots style...."you have the whitest white parts of the eye I have ever seen....do you floss?"

Tabitha · Post by **Tabitha** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 11:13 am

okay Cowboy! How about my smalls with your big ones mm?

Gambo darling I have to be honest and say that those one-liners would never grab me--
in fact it doesnt have to be words.Its the eyes that start it. A look that can set something stirring-not only for the girls but fellas as well.
Sure guys know what I getting at? If you hold someones eyes for a second longer than necessary--theres that certain something and the pupils dilate-if you see that happening then youve---hooked/pulled

Take a closer look next time

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 11:35 am

Not a fail safe guide Tabby

My pupils have been known to dilate after the body has consumed large amounts of alcohol!!! And if contact lenses have been forgotten it could be a case of just trying to see...........anything

_____________
pammie

Ellie · Post by **Ellie** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 12:27 pm

Just 'feel' your way then Pammie!

Have 'just enough' vinho to relax.....then you can lie back and?
Let it all happen! If youre lucky

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 12:50 pm

Good idea Ellie but haven't noticed any sofas or beds in the bars in Cvo. yet

s
A gorgeous looking guy did ask me for some advice stood next to a bed ...........in a bedding dept

He had no idea what to buy.........recently divorced-said he'd never looked at bed linen before

didn't know what sizes to get

and the more he said the more

he got. Finally after sorting him out

he went on his way but the loitering sales ladies

were very disappointed he hadnt asked me out for a coffee

Wasn't my kind of guy-if a guy doesnt know how to put a duvet cover on ...then he won't have any idea what to do in the bed ?:lol:

Gerry Cullen · Post by **Gerry Cullen** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 1:45 pm

so basicaly pammie were looking for a shorted sighted drunk dressed in a duvet cover...picky,pickey,pickey...hay digger give us another look at that sheep...maybe if ye only wore one wellie and the sheep looked over her shoulder the odd time ...jaysus wearin a bleedin, duvet cover...not very subtle is it ...have item of bed linen will shag.

Ellie · Post by **Ellie** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 1:55 pm

Gerry ..thats hilarious

The pic you conjure up of that sheep...
Im wondering now what digger's reply will be

?
P.S why bother with duvet . I find Elizabeth Ardens 'Green Tea' enough for me on a warm night

Sorry Gerry..that wasnt very subtle of me was it?

digger · Post by **digger** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 2:18 pm

…calma….you’re making a mistake…..you’re getting me mixed up with someone else….. croeso…he’s yer man….I know nothing about sheep….never even been to Wales..

Gambrinus · Post by **Gambrinus** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 2:23 pm

Not to worry, Tabs....I have not used any of the lines - really can't work up the guts or drink enough to make that much of a fool of myself

Always a laugh to see other make fools of themselves though, watched a guy on the beach go to the trouble of buying an ice cream for a girl he wanted to meet, but she turned him down and he was left sitting on his towel with two ice creams - maybe he should have gone for the "Magnum" instead of the "Mini-Milk"