What Do You Think?

cowboy · Post by **cowboy** » Sat Feb 07, 2004 7:24 am

This story hit the news in Fla.... A missing 11 yr. girl was found.

Body of missing Sarasota girl found; mechanic charged with murder.

On a Fla. fourm this this person responded:

My wife & I have taught our 8 year old daughter not to talk to strangers. We've presented scenarios to her & asked what she would do. She always replies she'd run away. I'm wondering if she really would. Like most children, she has a good heart, & could be swayed by an emotional story & a harmless looking individual.

In light of the Sarasota tragedy, I'm seriously considering putting her to the test. I'm thinking of having someone I know, but that she doesn't, drive by the park where she plays one day & see if he could lure her into his car.
Now, I'm not wanting to traumatize my youngun, so it wouldn't be something where he would grab her & take off, just so I could later say, "See, I told you." I just want to see if she's really heeding what her mother & I are trying to convey to her. Am I overreacting to today's story? Has anyone else ever considered this? Has anyone else ever done it?

Any comments?

maddi · Post by **maddi** » Sat Feb 07, 2004 11:24 am

All that would do was demonstrate to the child that you can speak to strangers without something nasty happening and that her parents have been lying to her about the danger of strangers. (It is a bit like when parents make the mistake of telling their children they will die if they use ecstasy, then they see their friends use it and not die, so that turns the parent into liars - silly move)

If they tell her that they set her up, how much trust would she have in her parents following the event.

Do they know nothing of the psychology of kids?

Maddi

tricky · Post by **tricky** » Sat Feb 07, 2004 1:28 pm

I think that is a very dangerous idea. We all fear for the safety of our children but to probably traumatise a child that way and give way for the 'Boy who cried wolf scenario'. Will that child think the next time she is
'lured into a car' that it is her parent's trying it again?

Ellie · Post by **Ellie** » Sat Feb 07, 2004 1:52 pm

I back Mads and Tricky on this one...what a stupid/dangerous thing to do or even contemplate!
Those of us with kids,have I expect, at some time or other,experienced that'heart stopping' moment/period..when our kids have gone missing.
Theres no scarier..chilling time when this happens.
It happened to me more than once ..with my 3!
I always taught them to stay with their mates..not to wander off,or go anywhere alone..and if they were approached.not just to run ..but to make as much noise as possible.
But..we cant be with our kids 24 hours a dayand they have to learn to be streetwise and to become independent.
There is no 100 % guarantee of your childrens safety. I know this,from bitter experience.
I cant go into this on here;its far too upsetting.It happened to someone very dear to me (not murder..I hasten to add)..but something near as bad.
The person has learned to live with it as best they can. The whole extended family is affected and it comes back to haunt you now and then.
This topic has brought it all back.So I will leave it now.
Just say..God rest that little Sarasota girl.

cowboy · Post by **cowboy** » Sun Feb 08, 2004 2:37 am

Thank you for responding, and I agree with you.
And there is always the very real possablity that Bystanders would respond as if it were the "Real Thing"....
and some of those "Bystanders" might have guns.
What would you do if you saw that "abduction" going on ?

Ellie · Post by **Ellie** » Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:23 pm

Well Coop,
I think most folks reaction would be to run to the childs aid..I dont believe you would think twice. There always a risk when interfering in an act of violence..or in this case ..child snatching.
Something like this happened to Hub and myself as we drove to big store one day.
We slowed down for a car to pull out of side street,as we did so a man ran towards the car and started to pull the door open.Theres was a young woman driving.She had 2 kiddies in the back. The man started trying to pull her out of the car. The kiddies were screaming.Hub jumped out of the car and ran up to the guy,shouting at him to stop and leave her alone. It was awful. He was still trying to drag her from the car which was still moving. He told Hub to F--- off .Where on, H clipped him one and he let go of the girl.
I asked her if she was ok and after a few minutes she was able to drive away.
Have you guessed it yet?
Turned out ..he was a boyfriend.Theyd split..he was angry and had spotted her in car park.
It didnt end there. The guy was a undercovercop/security at the store. He 'arrested 'Hub for assault! We had to go back to store with him..he called police in.
H was let off with a caution! But during the 'interview'the fella was questioned. She was married..they were not his kids...it all came out!.So, obviously the coppers wanted it all kept quiet!!
This all came about by us/ Hub trying to help a 'damsel in distress' you might say. Instead...H was practically branded a criminal!
So..be careful out there..as they used to say in 'Hill Street Blues'!

pinkiebluesky · Post by **pinkiebluesky** » Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:28 pm

When I was younger a car stopped and I was almost grabbed, I had the sense run. It has haunted me for years. Not long after my experience
( I managed to give description of the man and car) a man was arrested after trying to take a young girl from a car (the child quickly locked all doors and hooted the horn). I find that if my children are late I worry like mad,they both have cell phones and I find it eases my mind a little. I must admit I have thought about "testing" my children to see what they'd do in the same situation. In my view we can't wrap them in cotton wool but every chance that arrises to warn them or remind them should be taken.