CVO Unrelated Topic - Falling Standards in Grammar on Forum

maddi · Post by **maddi** » Wed Jan 14, 2004 12:24 am

There has been a marked drop in standards within recent posts on cvo.com

To try to address the problem, here's a few guidelines.

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat).
6. Be, more or less, specific.
7. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
8. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
9. Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used.
10. Never generalize
11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
12. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
13. Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth shattering ideas.
14. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
15. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
16. Even if a mixed metaphor does sing, it should be derailed.
17. Who needs rhetorical questions?
18. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.
19. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
20. Avoid single word sentences! Always? Absolutely.

Happy Posting !!

Maddi

cowboy · Post by **cowboy** » Wed Jan 14, 2004 4:07 am

Thanks Maddi, I used that one with another post I put it with.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 14, 2004 11:49 am

Never crap on your own doorstep ?

Never post pissed

Never roam off topic (is he still watching)

petermeachem · Post by **petermeachem** » Wed Jan 14, 2004 11:57 am

Who needs grammar?

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, olny taht the frist and lsat ltteres are at the rghit pcleas. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by ilstef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Gambrinus · Post by **Gambrinus** » Wed Jan 14, 2004 12:46 pm

You think this forum has bad grammar - check out this extract from a mail I got this week:

"hi men how r u i m oke he men it looks good men i likit i see u soon i wil let u now dis week oke"

...and next you are gonna tell us that it isn't short for innit, innit?

Ellie · Post by **Ellie** » Wed Jan 14, 2004 1:06 pm

It isn't just writing but speech too!
Phoned daughter in London other day --I said "Hello darling how are you?"
reply came "Ok. R'ite?"
I said "Pardon?"
She said"R'ite?"
I said"Sorry.What are you saying?"
She said(impatiently) " Im saying are you alright?"
So we got there 'eventually'!
London 'speak' is getting faster and shorter by the day--will we all end up by simply 'grunting' at each other-back to caveman days?

G--think your mail was from Brixton---had mate used to 'talk'like that

Gerry Cullen · Post by **Gerry Cullen** » Fri Jan 16, 2004 4:19 pm

Michael Crane · Post by **Michael Crane** » Fri Jan 16, 2004 9:08 pm

Blimey, Maddi, are you trying to get me off the forum?

Ellie · Post by **Ellie** » Fri Jan 16, 2004 11:05 pm

is that 'AH'! of Gerry's a sigh of ecstasy---or are we going into 'short speak' -like my daughter--a sort of 'shorthand' in speech?
i wonder what it would be like --if we just communicated with the sound for what we wanted ---and went around going " ooh"---"ahh"---"mmm"---"grrrr!"----etc--Im back in the caves again

Now Michael--would Maddi do that to you?

dont forget--it was you that taught me about 'apostrophes'!!

maddi · Post by **maddi** » Sat Jan 17, 2004 12:01 am

Michael

As one who is always pretty quick to pick up the grammatical and spelling errors of others, I did rather think this would appeal, but never one to pander to ego I hestiated to call it the Micheal Crane Master Class and thus is it so named.

Mads x

Michael Crane · Post by **Michael Crane** » Sat Jan 17, 2004 11:09 am

Moddi.

btw, you know I'm not one to grumble but my name is spelt Michael and not Micheal

maddi · Post by **maddi** » Sat Jan 17, 2004 11:36 am

I like the way I managed to offer both a correct and incorrect name spelling in the one post, considering it was 11 pm on a friday night and I had had my share of the sauce by then, the post was remarkably free of errors!!!

Mads

digger · Post by **digger** » Sat Jan 17, 2004 2:55 pm

Thank you Maddi for those guidelines. Now perhaps we should address the problem of nonsense, rubbish, gibber, babble, blather, bunkum, gabble, blether, jabber, twaddle, drivel, balderdash, mumbo-jumbo, double-talk, prattle, poppycock, gobbledegook, tommy-rot, garbage, tripe, bunk, blah, hogwash, saliva, drool, dribble, slaver, slobber, witter, ramble, prate, maunder, tosh, bosh, baloney, claptrap, humbug, tomfoolery, rot, gab, piffle, bilge and hooey on this forum. Or do you think current standards are high enough?

maddi · Post by **maddi** » Sat Jan 17, 2004 3:16 pm

Hi Digger

I think on a day to day basis we manage all of those to a very high standard

Maddi

Michael Crane · Post by **Michael Crane** » Mon Jan 19, 2004 5:40 pm

Digger, without nonsense, rubbish, gibber, babble, blather, bunkum, gabble, blether, jabber, twaddle, drivel, balderdash, mumbo-jumbo, double-talk, prattle, poppycock, gobbledegook, tommy-rot, garbage, tripe, bunk, blah, hogwash, saliva, drool, dribble, slaver, slobber, witter, ramble, prate, maunder, tosh, bosh, baloney, claptrap, humbug, tomfoolery, rot, gab, piffle, bilge and hooey it'd be a thin forum!