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New Year's Eve - What a night! 2004
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Michael Crane
- CVO Oracle
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New Year's Eve - What a night! 2004
Calamity! The Sky box went all wobbly on Christmas Eve and we had to do without 'proper' television. Instead of a healthy diet of Coro, Eastenders, Vicar of Dibley etc., we had to endure Portuguese television!!!
Blimey! I know I don't speaka the lingo, but it was incomprehensible - we watched a couple of quiz shows hosted by the cheesiest of hosts I've ever seen. He was like the Benny Hill character who's always saluting . . . but this guy was for real!
After two days of TV torture we had the 'Sky Expert' in to see us, sent by the villa's maintenance company. Expert? A mere slip of a girl she came in and spent one hour turning it on - unplugging it - turning it on - unplugging it (you get the picture? She didn't!). I'd spent the last two days doing this . . . and I'm not even a Sky expert. After the one hour of getting nowhere she proclaimed the box was no good and would have to be replaced; and then she left.
Galvanised by the fact that I couldn't face another night of 'Benny' I went onto the roof, twiddled a few bits and pieces on the dish and, hey presto! a strong signal and picture appeared. I am now an official, Sky Expert'.
New year's eve was the 'high' point of my holiday, inasmuch as I got totally drunk (according to Sharen) and can't remember much about it. However, I do remember some of it . . .
It started in the afternoon with a few beers around the pool followed by a couple of glasses of Casal Mendes as chasers. We then went out for a steak supper during which I polished off a bottle of red and finished off with a liquor.
Then it was off to Sully's for another glass or two or red (which I didn't enjoy but still managed to drink!) and then onto the beach for midnight - and champagne.
Drunk or not, I do remember that there was a vast improvement on last year's firework; this time there were loads of them . . . or was it just me? Perhaps it was a singular firework and it was I that saw double/triple/quadruple!
After the display we repaired to Sully's where my friend Tim purchased a couple of double whiskies for us. Doubles? They looked like goldfish bowls - they were the biggest doubles I've ever seen.
Now, if I was as drunk as Sharen says I was at this time could I do this? Top up my pay-as-you-talk phone? Yep. I managed to top up my phone sat in Sully's whilst speaking to complete strangers and drinking a goldfish bowl of whiskey. I ask you, could you do that if you were drunk?
Now, here's the bits I don't remember (but I have to believe it for I have seen the photos).
After we consumed the goldfish bowl (and quite probably, a goldfish or two) Tim purchased another double which we shared . . . using a straw each! We made a lovely couple, sat there, our heads touching, our lips pouting around our straws.
Damn those photos!
Finally, we headed for home; the long way round - three steps forward, two to the right (or left) and two steps back. According to Sharen, when we arrived at the villa driveway I called out, "I can't drive up here, it's too dangerous coming out. I'll have to reverse." So saying, I turned around and walked up the driveway backwards!
It's at this point that I know I was drunk for the driveway is as pitted as a pitted thing from Pitland; and it is impossible to walk up it backwards without falling arse over tit - - unless of course, you are drunk!
Lastly, according to Sharen (she makes me sick, staying sober and recording my plight. Has she nothing better to do?) I then fell asleep on the toilet where she found me, totally naked with my bum frozen to the pan in the morning!
What a night!
Oh, and just for good measure; when we took off from Faro later that day, we circled around and landed back there one and a half hours later due to a 'technical' problem!
Looking forward to doing the same again this year . . . apart from the being drunk and the re-landing at Faro bits!
Blimey! I know I don't speaka the lingo, but it was incomprehensible - we watched a couple of quiz shows hosted by the cheesiest of hosts I've ever seen. He was like the Benny Hill character who's always saluting . . . but this guy was for real!
After two days of TV torture we had the 'Sky Expert' in to see us, sent by the villa's maintenance company. Expert? A mere slip of a girl she came in and spent one hour turning it on - unplugging it - turning it on - unplugging it (you get the picture? She didn't!). I'd spent the last two days doing this . . . and I'm not even a Sky expert. After the one hour of getting nowhere she proclaimed the box was no good and would have to be replaced; and then she left.
Galvanised by the fact that I couldn't face another night of 'Benny' I went onto the roof, twiddled a few bits and pieces on the dish and, hey presto! a strong signal and picture appeared. I am now an official, Sky Expert'.
New year's eve was the 'high' point of my holiday, inasmuch as I got totally drunk (according to Sharen) and can't remember much about it. However, I do remember some of it . . .
It started in the afternoon with a few beers around the pool followed by a couple of glasses of Casal Mendes as chasers. We then went out for a steak supper during which I polished off a bottle of red and finished off with a liquor.
Then it was off to Sully's for another glass or two or red (which I didn't enjoy but still managed to drink!) and then onto the beach for midnight - and champagne.
Drunk or not, I do remember that there was a vast improvement on last year's firework; this time there were loads of them . . . or was it just me? Perhaps it was a singular firework and it was I that saw double/triple/quadruple!
After the display we repaired to Sully's where my friend Tim purchased a couple of double whiskies for us. Doubles? They looked like goldfish bowls - they were the biggest doubles I've ever seen.
Now, if I was as drunk as Sharen says I was at this time could I do this? Top up my pay-as-you-talk phone? Yep. I managed to top up my phone sat in Sully's whilst speaking to complete strangers and drinking a goldfish bowl of whiskey. I ask you, could you do that if you were drunk?
Now, here's the bits I don't remember (but I have to believe it for I have seen the photos).
After we consumed the goldfish bowl (and quite probably, a goldfish or two) Tim purchased another double which we shared . . . using a straw each! We made a lovely couple, sat there, our heads touching, our lips pouting around our straws.
Damn those photos!
Finally, we headed for home; the long way round - three steps forward, two to the right (or left) and two steps back. According to Sharen, when we arrived at the villa driveway I called out, "I can't drive up here, it's too dangerous coming out. I'll have to reverse." So saying, I turned around and walked up the driveway backwards!
It's at this point that I know I was drunk for the driveway is as pitted as a pitted thing from Pitland; and it is impossible to walk up it backwards without falling arse over tit - - unless of course, you are drunk!
Lastly, according to Sharen (she makes me sick, staying sober and recording my plight. Has she nothing better to do?) I then fell asleep on the toilet where she found me, totally naked with my bum frozen to the pan in the morning!
What a night!
Oh, and just for good measure; when we took off from Faro later that day, we circled around and landed back there one and a half hours later due to a 'technical' problem!
Looking forward to doing the same again this year . . . apart from the being drunk and the re-landing at Faro bits!
Last edited by Michael Crane on Tue Sep 20, 2005 12:27 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Thunderbolt
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Michael Crane
- CVO Oracle
- Posts: 11216
- Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2003 5:51 pm
- Location: Lincoln
- Contact:
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Michael Crane
- CVO Oracle
- Posts: 11216
- Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2003 5:51 pm
- Location: Lincoln
- Contact:
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eco/spider
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Michael Crane
- CVO Oracle
- Posts: 11216
- Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2003 5:51 pm
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Michael Crane
- CVO Oracle
- Posts: 11216
- Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2003 5:51 pm
- Location: Lincoln
- Contact:
Mind you, you do at least have a girlfriend. Here's a picture of her:
Last edited by Michael Crane on Tue Jul 12, 2005 4:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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eco/spider
- CVO Master
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Michael Crane
- CVO Oracle
- Posts: 11216
- Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2003 5:51 pm
- Location: Lincoln
- Contact:
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Michael Crane
- CVO Oracle
- Posts: 11216
- Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2003 5:51 pm
- Location: Lincoln
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Sharen Crane
- CVO Legend
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Ellie
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This is hilarious 
sounds like corrie street...the 2 butchers boys having a go!
Hey Michael..I've just read a post by our spiderman on the Talk site..it seems his grandfather was a street fighter in Dublin and was paid in Guinness
Take a look if you don't believe me........
The spider gave a description here once..when he was
sparring with someone else here.....6ft-4 and big with it
I know..me and Sharen will be referees
sounds like corrie street...the 2 butchers boys having a go!
Hey Michael..I've just read a post by our spiderman on the Talk site..it seems his grandfather was a street fighter in Dublin and was paid in Guinness
Take a look if you don't believe me........
The spider gave a description here once..when he was
sparring with someone else here.....6ft-4 and big with it
I know..me and Sharen will be referees