I love this & I was not the customer

This is a true story from the WordPerfect Help line which was
transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired.
However, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without
Cause." This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
Support employee (now I know why they record these
conversations)


"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type."


"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well , there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back
of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's
dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why
not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power....... a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked
now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it

was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"


"Tell them you're too f**king stupid to own a computer."


I think the employee should have been promoted

An award should go to the Virgin Airlines gate attendant in Sydney some
months ago for being customer focused, while making her point when
confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as
cargo!

A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been
withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of
inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way
to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE
to be on this flight and it HAS to be NOW!"

The attendant replied, "I'm sorry sir, I'll be happy to try and help you
but I've got to help these people first and I'm sure we'll be able to work
something out."

The passenger was unimpressed; he asked loudly, so that the other
passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address
microphone: "May I have your attention please", she began, her voice
heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14
WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity,
please come to Gate 14."

With the travellers behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man
glared at the attendant, gritted his teeth and said "F*** you!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir but you'll have
to get in line for that too!"

Brilliant
I'd love to know who the egotistical S.O.B actually was.

Its what's called an ''Urban Myth'' Blue - in other words it didn't really happen, its been doing the rounds for years, Shame though.

Its what's called an ''Urban Myth'' Blue - in other words it didn't really happen, its been doing the rounds for years, Shame though.