Dilemma

Share experience regarding ownership of property and/or living in Portugal.

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Dilemma

Postby widge » Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:38 am

So you install CCTV as a security measure and witness your elderly next door neighbours breaking into your garden using a step ladder and apparently poisoning your tree and cutting your shrubs. I confronted them by phone from the UK & they confess and apologise but are unable to give an explanation for their behaviour.

We have had a friendly relationship with them for 14 years & I spoke to them personally when I was in Portugal only 3 days before the incident occurred and everything seemed fine.

Forgive & forget - make a point of forgiving them, put it behind you and move on ?

or

Sever all relations - accept that you will probably never speak with your neighbour again & all the stress & difficulty that may ensue ?
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Re: Dilemma

Postby maccasa » Tue Mar 14, 2017 12:11 pm

I always found that sending my 3 grandchildren to my house on a 5 week hol in the summer usually worked - oh, alongwith a ghetto blaster! They usually moved out by the second visit!
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Re: Dilemma

Postby Raithstar » Tue Mar 14, 2017 12:46 pm

That's awful , I would tell them I was considering reporting them to the police if even just to put the frightners on them . Then I would be keeping my distance if it were me .
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Re: Dilemma

Postby bruce » Tue Mar 14, 2017 9:02 pm

I really could not tolerate such sneaky people!
How awful for people you thought you could trust reward you in this way, they would no doubt be pointing the finger elsewhere if you had not seen them.
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Re: Dilemma

Postby smudger » Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:25 pm

Minimal conversation (bom dia/boa tarde) to be polite but nothing further.
Do they have a dog? Quietly feed it laxative chocolate!
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Re: Dilemma

Postby bruce » Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:37 pm

smudger wrote:Minimal conversation (bom dia/boa tarde) to be polite but nothing further.
Do they have a dog? Quietly feed it laxative chocolate!

No way why should a poor dog suffer!
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Re: Dilemma

Postby shanagarry » Tue Mar 14, 2017 11:07 pm

Not easy - a personal conversation is the starting point before 'burning the 14 year bridge' - regardless of how you feel now.

Undoubtedly your neighbours are mortified and sometimes fighting 'fire' with 'understanding' might make you feel better and turn an unpleasant situation to your advantage. The alternative is potentially an awkward 14 years (or so) with 'the neighbour from hell' unless one of you moves.

I hope you get a beneficial outcome - without any further unpleasantness :)
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Re: Dilemma

Postby Farol » Tue Mar 14, 2017 11:35 pm

The problem is that whatever you do you know you will never be able to trust them again.

If you previously liked them then if you can bring yourself to discuss it calmly with them face to face on your next visit then that might help. You say they are elderly and that could partly explain their action. It could be that they felt your trees/shrubs intruded on their property in some way but that they didn't have the courage to mention it to you so they might have thought some secret pruning would be a solution to thier problem and they didn't think it through enough. However there could be many explanations including some very disturbing reasons.

A damn good telling off might be all that is required if they show remorse.

If they show no remorse then getting the police involved might be a consideration.

Tricky whatever you do but you can't just let it go.
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Re: Dilemma

Postby Alison » Wed Mar 15, 2017 4:05 pm

Hey, commiserations Peter, that sounds a horrible scenario. Think you have to talk face to face with them to try and suss out why they did this before deciding on your long term course of action. But I agree, it would be difficult to ever trust them again and that creates an unpleasant atmosphere whatever happens.
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Re: Dilemma

Postby LICY » Thu Mar 16, 2017 7:57 am

OMG! Think they are mentally unstable. :evil: :evil: We will come and poison their plants under the cover of darkness for a vodka and OJ. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Dilemma

Postby smudger » Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:53 pm

bruce wrote:
smudger wrote:Minimal conversation (bom dia/boa tarde) to be polite but nothing further.
Do they have a dog? Quietly feed it laxative chocolate!

No way why should a poor dog suffer!


Depends on what you mean by 'suffer'.....to some may be opportunity to cleanse the dog's internals.
The use of such chocolate was commonly used by enforcement agencies before entering premises that had guard dogs.........dogs too 'busy' to bother anyone! :)
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Re: Dilemma

Postby pato » Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:58 pm

smudger wrote:
bruce wrote:
smudger wrote:Minimal conversation (bom dia/boa tarde) to be polite but nothing further.
Do they have a dog? Quietly feed it laxative chocolate!

No way why should a poor dog suffer!


Depends on what you mean by 'suffer'.....to some may be opportunity to cleanse the dog's internals.
The use of such chocolate was commonly used by enforcement agencies before entering premises that had guard dogs.........dogs too 'busy' to bother anyone! :)
Difficult to put in the poop bag though. 8)
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Re: Dilemma

Postby Rampage » Fri Mar 24, 2017 7:22 pm

Better "Jaw jaw" than "War war". Have a face to face, honest talk-out with them and you will get the best resolution.
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Re: Dilemma

Postby Lowthian » Sat Mar 25, 2017 10:51 pm

It sounds like a case of jealousy to me Peter. Ask them if they will foot the bill for a gardener to replace the damaged items. Then let them decide if want to be civil & try to make amends, or live in shame.
I wonder if they read the forums!
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